#7 and I met nearly a month ago now at a game and movie night thrown by #2 and his partner. I was sitting at one end of the table taking in a new group of friends when #7 walked in. He had a six-pack of beer in one hand and the classic board game Jenga in the other. The room seemed lighter and happier with him in it. He was gregarious and energetic and seemed to be good friends with everyone in the room. I could tell I liked his personality immediately.
As the night progressed we all moved from the dining table where we were playing games and into the living room to start a movie that #7 had brought (“Sordid Lives” if you’re looking for a hilarious film). We were all chit chatting and #7 and I started to talk about having lived in Utah. He grew up in a small town about two hours away from where I lived while attending BYU. He mentioned, however, that he had spent a lot of time in Provo and Orem because he had dated a guy for two years who was from there. I’m always curious to see how small the gay world is (and the Utah County gay world is pretty damn small) so I asked the name of his ex-boyfriend. He said his first name and I finished it with the last name of a guy I had dated for a few weeks last spring. #7 freaked out! “You dated my ex-boyfriend!” We laughed and bonded over stories of our mutual ex and by the end of the night made our friendship official by adding one another on Facebook.
Throughout the next week #7 and I texted back and forth and got to know one another. #7 recently started a web business and since I am in the process of starting one myself we set up some time to get together and talk about what’s involved in starting a business. When he found out that I was trying to go on 100 dates though he asked me if that changed the nature of our meeting. I told him if he wanted to make it a date we could make it a date, so we did. After a week of delays because of our schedules (although we did see each other twice during that time at events with friends) we finally went on our date: bowling together at Hollywood Bowl.
I already knew I liked him. One of my biggest soft spots for a guy is when they make me feel special and cared about and let me know that they’re thinking about me, and he had consistently done that since we started texting back and forth. He was flirty and kind and cute all at once. And in person, amongst our mutual friends, he was just as kind and endearing. I was glad that I wouldn’t have to wonder if I liked his personality and could just see if there was any chemistry. There are a lot of pluses about going on a date with someone that you already know a bit. You get to skip all of the nervous interactions involved with the “getting to know you” questions and move to just focusing on having a good time and really interacting with one another.
When we got to the bowling alley we were told that it would be an hour wait to get on a lane so we went into the bar and decided to play Connect 4 to pass the time. Board games have this amazing way to reveal some of the true characteristics of another person, both positive and negative. Unfortunately, Connect 4 showed how competitive I am. I lost all five rounds and my frustration clearly showed. He was calm and peaceful as he used logic and strategy to consistently kick my trash at the game. Luckily, before my frustration turned into outrage we were called over the intercom and sent to lane 22 to begin our games.
I was concerned going into bowling that I would have a hard time really enjoying myself because, in all honesty and in most circumstances, I suck at bowling. Never in my life had I scored more than 100 points and most of the time I bowl in the 50s. After losing at Connect 4 five times I worried that my competitiveness would bleed over into bowling. Luckily I had drunk a few beers by that point and really didn’t care too much about the bowling. Believing it a miracle to bowl a spare or strike I flirtingly suggested that for every strike that we got we would kiss on the lips, and for each spare we would kiss on the cheek. I thought that maybe there’d be three or four kisses in total. Well, here were the results:
Total Spares: 17
Total Strikes: 17
Apparently neither of us is too bad at bowling. Or kissing. In all honesty it was the most fun I had on a date in a long, long time. Everything felt so natural and free. It also helped that I bowled better than I ever had before in my life! At one point one of our bowling neighbors came up and asked us how long we had been together. We replied that it was actually our first official date, although we had known each other for a few weeks. She said she thought we had been together for a really long time just based on her observations of us. We both kind of beamed and said that things just felt really good between us.
After our fifth game of bowling was finished we headed back to his house. I knew that there was no way I could drive home responsibly so I went inside to drink some water, but after a while realized I wasn’t getting any more capable of driving so I crashed. The stomach serenade began in the morning. And here I am now a while later trying to understand it all.
It was a great date. That’s all I can really say about it. I don’t know where things are headed between us. I don’t want to really decide or over think any of it. But I know I like someone and it has kind of thrown me for a loop. This week a really great friend said the following to me: “Love is an expression of being. To be able to love, you have to be.” So that’s what I’m trying to do…stop using my brain so much and start using my heart to figure all of this out.
I've always gone by the rule that if your re-telling of a date makes the listener/audience/internet jealous, it was probably an amazing date. I also believe that if you strike gold with one amazing date, it usually means you've found a strong strain of amazing dates that need to be mined. I hope that's the case!
ReplyDeleteThis post also made me really, really want to go bowling.