Recently I saw a commercial for Match.com that touted that 1 in 5 relationships now begin online and it was reassuring for me. Of the 12 dates that I’ve been on so far about 25% began in some online form. I’m currently registered on a number of different dating (or social networking) sites including:
LDS Singles (JK, they don’t let you look for other LDS gays)
For the most part I’ve had an ok experience with online dating. It’s definitely an easy way to meet guys and find dates. Hell, I could do it in my underwear from bed if I really wanted to. But like I wrote about in my last post, guys can be so different from who they appear to be online. A friend sent me a “someecards” this weekend that perfectly sums up my thoughts:
Like I said, I’m not against online dating. I have a number of friends that are in great relationships that started online. And I’ll be the first to admit that I love getting messages like this:
“Hey! How’s it going? I just had to tell you how beautiful your eyes are. They seem so sincere and kind. What’re you up to?”
It’s quite the ego boost. However, more often than not I get messages looking for a hookup or insinuating a hookup. The Internet has made finding a hookup just as convenient as finding a date. And it finally became too much this weekend when I received the following message. This is word for word. And I’ll warn you it’s pretty explicit, so skip it if you don’t wish to read it.
“Hey bro…Just watched this fu*%ing hot porn where this stud got f*#ked through a Glory Hole. TOTALLY ANONYMOUSLY! Looked so damn erotic and hot and got me all worked up and curious to set one up and get my sweet tight a$$ pumped through a glory hole as I wear a jock strap. Txt for directions whenever you need to relieve some pressure: 801-***-****”
I’m sure you’ll all as shocked as I was to get it. I literally laughed out loud when I read it. It was obviously copied and pasted and sent to multiple people. At the same time as I was amused by the straight-to-the-point nature of his message, I was also completely appalled. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing one’s sexuality or being a sexual person. Consensual, safe sex between two adults is completely acceptable and I pass no judgment on Surfn8 for looking for someone to fulfill his fantasy. In fact, I respect him for being completely honest with what he was looking for. He could have asked me out on a date and then sprung his intentions on me at the end of the night. But that’s the frustrating part for me of online dating. It doesn’t require you to be nearly as genuine and honest as meeting in real life and cultivating a relationship in a more “traditional” way.
I’m not naïve enough to think that people are 100% honest with their intentions when you meet in real life. I’ve been burned plenty of times from dishonest people that I’ve met in real life and not online. But since online dating hasn’t lead to many quality relationships I’ve decided to cut myself off from it. For the rest of my dates I’m not going to go out with people from a dating website. I’m still willing to go on blind dates (if you know anyone let me know) and if someone contacts me through the blog to go on a date then that’s totally fine, but I’m disconnecting myself from the sites I’ve been on before. So, adios for now!